Please, stay away.

[MelaniaStarHans]

My mind

Is

A drawbridge.  --- Good opening, I like the metaphor

I

Can draw people  --- use a different word to 'draw' to avoid the repetition

In,   --- don't need comma here

And give

Them

The promise

To pass

By, --- don't need 'by' 

But I

Always put up

A wall

When

They get

Too close.  --- I like the ending, but if you were to continue the drawbridge castle analogy then perhaps you would shut the gate or portcullis

Hi M, neat little poem here, I'm unsure about the line breaks but I see how they can give a juddering effect like a drawbridge going up and down. Also don't need to capitalise every line, just the beginning of sentences.

Cheers for the read,

Mark

Thank you for the feedback! I edited my poem and used your suggestions. The drawbridge in this poem, though, I'm picturing a bridge less like a medieval drawbridge and more like the Tower Bridge in London.

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I like the development towards a payoff in the final two lines. It works.
Could do with fewer line breaks perhaps

Thank you for the feedback!

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I like the line breaks, gives it a mechanical romance.

Thank you for the feedback!