Forest Pond - edit
#3
(10-09-2020, 10:17 PM)dukealien Wrote:  Forest Pond

White egret poses
on reflected trees and sky–
plucks fish from branches.
Clever last line.
Would be improved if there's an alternative to 'poses on' - I think there's 2 syllables too many (not in the sense of haiku formalism, but just what sounds pleasing to the ear)
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Messages In This Thread
Forest Pond - edit - by dukealien - 10-09-2020, 10:17 PM
RE: Forest Pond - by philip - 10-19-2020, 04:57 AM
RE: Forest Pond - by Evolutionisatheory - 10-19-2020, 07:35 PM
RE: Forest Pond - edit - by dukealien - 10-21-2020, 06:27 AM
RE: Forest Pond - edit - by Magpie - 10-25-2020, 01:32 AM
RE: Forest Pond - edit - by dukealien - 10-25-2020, 05:25 AM
RE: Forest Pond - edit - by Knot - 10-28-2020, 02:12 AM



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