10-15-2020, 11:14 AM
(10-15-2020, 06:10 AM)RhythmGuy Wrote: We met beforeThe first 4 lines don't seem to say anything to me, maybe condense to 1 line, or rephrase.. happy birthday!
Many times over
This was different,the tense is confusing
Everything grows alive
The sun smiles and cascades every passing mountain I like cascades
Flowers stare and grow bigger and brighter maybe too many 'ands'
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid like "I love you"
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
I wanted to write a short sweet poem for my GF's birthday coming up and she is a writer herself so I don't want to completely embarrass myself!
Thank you!
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches

