Nature
#9
I enjoyed this, though, as someone else has already said, I think the line "because I love her" might not be necessary. You're already showing how you love her with the rest of the poem. Also, "My sad friend" and "her life lacking pleasure" mean essentially the same thing, so you might be able to delete one of them, to preserve the whole short and minimalist feeling you've cultivated well. Otherwise, your descriptive language and the emotional tone you set is really good. Good job.
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Messages In This Thread
Nature - by ComposerMike - 05-12-2020, 03:00 PM
RE: Nature - by Pure Evil - 06-09-2020, 05:51 AM
RE: Nature - by Bunx - 06-10-2020, 01:25 AM
RE: Nature - by ComposerMike - 06-10-2020, 03:15 AM
RE: Nature - by penneddown - 06-12-2020, 12:50 AM
RE: Nature - by Lilly123 - 09-09-2020, 11:25 AM
RE: Nature - by mizron - 09-12-2020, 06:04 AM
RE: Nature - by huntermitch - 09-16-2020, 02:21 AM
RE: Nature - by nearlyhere - 10-10-2020, 09:57 AM
RE: Nature - by TranquillityBase - 02-01-2021, 09:14 PM



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