09-27-2020, 10:07 AM
I think the relentless intrusion of 'a child cries' works well, brings the sound and an unsettled tone.
In the body of the poem, I found only one concrete image - a book. I wonder if you could build further on that, maybe make pages from it part of the litter?
Show me joy, etc., rather than tell me of them.
The poem uses present tense, except for 'trod' in line 5 stanza 1.
Thanks for the chance to read and comment on your poem.
In the body of the poem, I found only one concrete image - a book. I wonder if you could build further on that, maybe make pages from it part of the litter?
Show me joy, etc., rather than tell me of them.
The poem uses present tense, except for 'trod' in line 5 stanza 1.
Thanks for the chance to read and comment on your poem.
Actually, it’s only really poëtry if it comes from the Poët region of France. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling whine. -- Traditional