#471

[Magpie]

wobbling
on the river ~
full moon and me

Yes. It works. And it works even when the lines are swapped, which I think is a good thing in this type of poem.

For me, by not using 'the full moon and me' you make it seem like 'full moon' is the name of a friend, it's a beautiful image.

Welcome back, although I've been away for over two years so I'm not really the best qualified to say that.

Cheers for the read,

Mark