09-03-2020, 09:05 AM
Newbie to poetry here and first time writing a critique...
First off, I really loved the imagery in this poem. I could perfectly see this old man. I loved the sky "embracing" the city below. It gave me a sense that it was a warm and comfortable night.
I do agree that you should maybe not capitalize Sleepy in the second line. In my own reading of the poem, it threw off the flow a bit. Also, I'm not so sure of the word choice "pretty" in the second line, though I don't have any specific alternatives. As a reader, I wasn't sure exactly what kind of night to envision. What kind of night are you describing here?
Overall in terms of content, I really enjoyed the poem and was very intrigued by the narrator. I want to know a bit more about this person passing by, but I like that there is also a bit of mystery in each of these two individuals lives. I was left wanting more, but in a good way.
First off, I really loved the imagery in this poem. I could perfectly see this old man. I loved the sky "embracing" the city below. It gave me a sense that it was a warm and comfortable night.
I do agree that you should maybe not capitalize Sleepy in the second line. In my own reading of the poem, it threw off the flow a bit. Also, I'm not so sure of the word choice "pretty" in the second line, though I don't have any specific alternatives. As a reader, I wasn't sure exactly what kind of night to envision. What kind of night are you describing here?
Overall in terms of content, I really enjoyed the poem and was very intrigued by the narrator. I want to know a bit more about this person passing by, but I like that there is also a bit of mystery in each of these two individuals lives. I was left wanting more, but in a good way.