09-01-2020, 11:29 AM
(07-20-2020, 02:41 AM)adillweed Wrote: I can look through you like glass,Hi, so just testing the waters here Myself but my two cents. There are two lines I stumbled over as rough patches
Or spend all my time
Imagining pictures in all of your smudges.
But in the end
I'm always more mesmerized by the scenery
And know there are windows and building out there
Much more beautiful than you.
I'm no good with anything fragile;
It's bound to break beneath my feet.
Does this make me heartless?
I really don't know.
(I'm a bit unfamiliar with when punctuation is necessary or what would be most influential rather than just line breaks. I'm also unsure if I even want to keep the last two lines. When I was writing I was more so journaling and I don't think it flows well. Thanks for reading!!)
“And know there are windows and building out there” seems like the window should reveal beauty and the building is backdrop
“I'm no good with anything fragile” my touch(hand?) is too heavy for things fragile
