08-15-2020, 11:43 AM
Oh I wasn’t getting that same reference from the tree line as the others! I thought of the “if a tree falls in the forest” thought experiment. And with the raven, I was thinking of “quoth the raven.”
I really liked this poem, overall, just because I found the concept of it appealing and I found the personification of sound to be kind of playful.
“Existence for its own sake and for God’s pleasure.” I think we could all do much worse than that.
So I took the entire poem to be a play around this idea. Also, I guess the raven shrieking and the tree falling are both emblematic of death. It’s not easy to write a beautiful, playful death poem.
Ok yes, in the last line, I did think of “om,” too, but it’s not too directly stated as to be heavy-handed. It’s a nice contrast to the “leaps from our arms” so rather than being a force that we control, sound is propelling us as it goes. And this line reminds me of the line in your hummingbird poem...doesn’t the bird fly in between gaps in that one as well? At any rate, I think it’s a nice culmination into the final lines.
I enjoyed it, thanks for posting.
I really liked this poem, overall, just because I found the concept of it appealing and I found the personification of sound to be kind of playful.
“Existence for its own sake and for God’s pleasure.” I think we could all do much worse than that.
So I took the entire poem to be a play around this idea. Also, I guess the raven shrieking and the tree falling are both emblematic of death. It’s not easy to write a beautiful, playful death poem.
Ok yes, in the last line, I did think of “om,” too, but it’s not too directly stated as to be heavy-handed. It’s a nice contrast to the “leaps from our arms” so rather than being a force that we control, sound is propelling us as it goes. And this line reminds me of the line in your hummingbird poem...doesn’t the bird fly in between gaps in that one as well? At any rate, I think it’s a nice culmination into the final lines.
I enjoyed it, thanks for posting.
(08-15-2020, 04:46 AM)Joyful Noise Wrote: quiet please, human being in progress
Must we fear Silence?
The raven will shriek either way
and that tree will still fall
and we, well,
We will be tossed into Oblivion
O, where does Sound go when it
leaps from our arms
to chase down its ancestors’ freedom:
existence for its own sake and
for God’s pleasure
His sweet celestial symphony
Is Sound our Creator?
That Elysian detonation that set us
all in motion
Spreading out and away,
sentenced to an eternity
of filling the gaps with
noise
instead of
Sound