08-15-2020, 09:44 AM
The metaphor/imagery needs a lot of tightening I am having trouble following.
"Must we fear silence?"
Maybe give an instance where you/the character fears silence. Not everyone fears silence. I for instance dig it. If you fear silence, maybe there's a reason, maybe there's some personal truth to give to the page. That's what I would love to hear.
"The raven will shriek either way" So the raven will shriek w/ or w/o silence?
and that tree will still fall
and we, well,
We will be tossed into Oblivion"
If you're going to hang out in lofty metaphor make it into really solid imagery.
If the reader was looking at a raven in a tree what would they see: is it's black marbles of eyes staring you down? Is it preening it's feathers? What kind of tree? Is it deciduous, is it winter and it has no leaves? Build the metaphor in the images and details.
What kind of oblivion, there are many? Maybe look at a picture of oblivion and write about what you see, hear, smell. Here's one from Poussin https://images.app.goo.gl/oZXGZYDGDz4dNpaT8
Or look at your door these days...
Oooh yeah, good luck. If you like writing poetry, never stop. I do like the sound idea, it could work out well with enough work.
"Must we fear silence?"
Maybe give an instance where you/the character fears silence. Not everyone fears silence. I for instance dig it. If you fear silence, maybe there's a reason, maybe there's some personal truth to give to the page. That's what I would love to hear.
"The raven will shriek either way" So the raven will shriek w/ or w/o silence?
and that tree will still fall
and we, well,
We will be tossed into Oblivion"
If you're going to hang out in lofty metaphor make it into really solid imagery.
If the reader was looking at a raven in a tree what would they see: is it's black marbles of eyes staring you down? Is it preening it's feathers? What kind of tree? Is it deciduous, is it winter and it has no leaves? Build the metaphor in the images and details.
What kind of oblivion, there are many? Maybe look at a picture of oblivion and write about what you see, hear, smell. Here's one from Poussin https://images.app.goo.gl/oZXGZYDGDz4dNpaT8
Or look at your door these days...
Oooh yeah, good luck. If you like writing poetry, never stop. I do like the sound idea, it could work out well with enough work.