in the event of moon disaster

[alonso ramoran]

in the event of moon disaster: edit #2

One    splitting tension    creates a
Small disturbance in the fore-
Step of giants
For craters are only as deep as the 
Man who dives down into them  

One distant dust speckle,
Giant to its kingly children; they 
Leap from land to land,
For from the marrow of 
Mankind, though they know it not, do they suckle To conserve words, you could just simply say something like "Mankind unknowingly suckles."

Admittedly, I'm still a little unclear about who is "they" in the last stanza. It seems like "they" is referencing mankind, but then the final lines are about how they suckle from mankind's marrow? Sorry, not following.

Also, for easier reading of other members on the site, you can hide previous drafts in your original post by typing both "pre verse" then "/pre verse" in brackets and leaving your old draft in between so it looks like:

old draft

Afterwards you can update your original post to have your new draft, as opposed to adding it as a comment to your thread.