08-11-2020, 08:40 PM
Thank you for the read and for the feedback.
Typically, I like to take opinions and just decide if I agree, but I think I'd like to open a discussion, if anyone is interested about the notion of a cliche and its function or dysfunction within poetry, since cliches are to be avoided, at all costs and we all know this as a rule.
I'd argue that I'm not using cliches so much as I am using idiomatic expressions. You are correct that I am going for a certain period mode here (studebaker, cloche hat . . . I agree that I could use some more of these time and place signifiers) so I am also going for idioms that convey that place, time, and way of thinking. I'd argue for the blatant and intentional use of these as a cultural shorthand that mimics everyday speech and thought.
However the distinction between a cliche and an idiom is certainly very thin. Really a cliche is an idiom that has lost its impact. So yes, I can understand that heavily idiomatic writing risks a voice is that overly quirky and contrived.
It might just depend on how your grandpappy used to talk at you when he took you to the fishing hole down in the holler. Maybe nobody ever said anything so ridiculous to you and it sounds utterly contrived and cliche. Or maybe it just sounds like the wallpaper in your subconscious.
Thoughts?
Typically, I like to take opinions and just decide if I agree, but I think I'd like to open a discussion, if anyone is interested about the notion of a cliche and its function or dysfunction within poetry, since cliches are to be avoided, at all costs and we all know this as a rule.
I'd argue that I'm not using cliches so much as I am using idiomatic expressions. You are correct that I am going for a certain period mode here (studebaker, cloche hat . . . I agree that I could use some more of these time and place signifiers) so I am also going for idioms that convey that place, time, and way of thinking. I'd argue for the blatant and intentional use of these as a cultural shorthand that mimics everyday speech and thought.
However the distinction between a cliche and an idiom is certainly very thin. Really a cliche is an idiom that has lost its impact. So yes, I can understand that heavily idiomatic writing risks a voice is that overly quirky and contrived.
It might just depend on how your grandpappy used to talk at you when he took you to the fishing hole down in the holler. Maybe nobody ever said anything so ridiculous to you and it sounds utterly contrived and cliche. Or maybe it just sounds like the wallpaper in your subconscious.
Thoughts?
(08-11-2020, 12:17 PM)Joyful Noise Wrote: Well, I for one would be absolutely thrilled to learn more about these women if you do end up weaving them into a larger narrative. A general suggestion would be to really hone in on the sonority, the flow. Some phrases have a really lovely lilt, so the ones that don’t suffer all the more in comparison. I get a very 50s vibe from the piece (not sure if I am interpreting that correctly, of course), so I feel it would be nice to sprinkle in some more 50s-esque jargon to really paint the picture. Greater specificity (“chestnut” instead of “brown,” “wind-strewn” instead of “dusty”, etc.) and fewer clichés (“ball and chain,” “straight as a board”), though I will admit the latter does add a sense of playfulness. Really enjoyable read.