08-11-2020, 10:22 AM
This isn't done, but I wanted feedback before I do anything else with it. These three characters are interconnected and it might be part of a larger story if I keep messing around with it. I have ideas for things I might want to change, but I love other people's opinions, too.
Viola Martin
Viola Martin rolled into town
Dusty road and Studebaker gown
Wavy blonde hair with smooth cloche hat:
What did the town think about that?
Gas station husband pumps off the porch
Neighbor widow is hot for the church
Viola smooths on red lipstick
Venetian blinds close with a click
Elsie Brown
Blinds flutter shut, eyelashes cast down
Her rosy cheeks flushed, heart takes a bound
Gas station wife, Elsie so plain
Dishwater life, John’s ball and chain
Little sparrow flits, smooths her brown hair
Fast smacks the arrow seeing the pair
John pumping gas his jaw hangs slack
Viola’s red lips looking back
Elsie Brown’s kitchen, antique green walls
Spotless today, but Elsie recalls
a crystal gazer said she’d seen
wet poppies on a field of green.
Rachel Miller
Rachel Miller is straight as a board
Raises an eyebrow, praises the lord
Swears she can smell that red lipstick
smeared on creamy and way too thick
She sits in the pew Sundays at eight
Stained glass picture of the pearly gate
The early sun rays warm her hands
Crimson stains where justice will land
Sin gets washed the blood of the lamb
Souls come dirty to the Great I Am
They will be cleansed white from the flow
The rent to the mend so Rachel goes
Viola Martin
Viola Martin rolled into town
Dusty road and Studebaker gown
Wavy blonde hair with smooth cloche hat:
What did the town think about that?
Gas station husband pumps off the porch
Neighbor widow is hot for the church
Viola smooths on red lipstick
Venetian blinds close with a click
Elsie Brown
Blinds flutter shut, eyelashes cast down
Her rosy cheeks flushed, heart takes a bound
Gas station wife, Elsie so plain
Dishwater life, John’s ball and chain
Little sparrow flits, smooths her brown hair
Fast smacks the arrow seeing the pair
John pumping gas his jaw hangs slack
Viola’s red lips looking back
Elsie Brown’s kitchen, antique green walls
Spotless today, but Elsie recalls
a crystal gazer said she’d seen
wet poppies on a field of green.
Rachel Miller
Rachel Miller is straight as a board
Raises an eyebrow, praises the lord
Swears she can smell that red lipstick
smeared on creamy and way too thick
She sits in the pew Sundays at eight
Stained glass picture of the pearly gate
The early sun rays warm her hands
Crimson stains where justice will land
Sin gets washed the blood of the lamb
Souls come dirty to the Great I Am
They will be cleansed white from the flow
The rent to the mend so Rachel goes