08-08-2020, 10:04 AM
Like VP, I thoroughly enjoyed the “gusty tumbled sky” phrase—just lovely. Rereading it I appreciate more the repetition of hyphenated words (spinnaker-ballooned, drag-chuted, self-impeded). I personally interpreted the jacket as a representation of the limits we place on ourselves out of cultural habit, even limits as great in scope as gender or race. Not sure if that was the goal, but it still hit home for me in that way. My two suggestions would be to consider changing “bicycling” to “cycling,” as I feel that it would make the meter flow even more fluidly, and to change “happening” to “falling” in the penultimate line.