08-06-2020, 10:13 PM
I like the contrast between hard and delicate here: grit and tectonic plates versus hummingbirds and blossoms. Also the juxtaposition of religious experience and physical ecstasy is very Teresa of Avila, and it supports the notion of fertility nicely. And since it's been mentioned, I have no issue with the rhyming lines, personally I like a changeup.
(08-06-2020, 11:07 AM)Joyful Noise Wrote: hummingbird
anoint me with grit and
throw colors at me,
that i may lap up the
nectar of life
curling my toes, i
feel what it is to be here,
be near
who is I AM that
BEING would sow me in such
fertile soil
and
congruently
blossom within me
rub my eyes and beat my wings
longing falls as a bow on strings
as i fit myself into place
squeeze myself into the gaps
between
tectonic plates
This is my very first poem to be shared with anyone besides my boyfriend lol. I would be so grateful for any and all feedback you may have!
