07-31-2020, 08:02 PM
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Hi Adam,
no need to rush.
I think using scare quotes is part of the problem, they show a lack of conviction about the character and introduce a second POV where you don't need it. That said, you might be better served with 'everyone'?
Regarding the ending: I think you need to include the possibility of/for change, even if mantis doesn't actually change. Might he not be sentenced to having his head bitten off each time until (in the eyes of the female mantis?) his regret is sincere, and his courtship is less of an assault and more ... courtly?
Best, Knot
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