07-03-2020, 02:53 PM
Welcome to the site, Exit, and thanks for your participation so far. I didn't get the Marx reference either, but I don't see any reason that it matters. If the poem stands on its own, it's just a layer that some readers will enjoy and others miss. Strangely, I didn't initially read this as a limerick, but that's the only way I can see it now.
Thanks. And yes, "our" is much better.
The funny thing is I wrote this very quickly (like a little poetic doodle) and it was only after reading it aloud to my girlfriend that I, too, realised it was basically a limerick—which is why I posted it in "for fun". I suppose it doesn't automatically register as a limerick because limericks are usually overtly humorous poems strictly in 5 lines. Maybe the relatively serious subject matter and unconventional line breaks were my subconscious attempt to subvert the genre. As Freud—channelling Descartes—might have said, my subconscious is often far more rebellious than I am. Thanks again.
Thanks. And yes, "our" is much better.
The funny thing is I wrote this very quickly (like a little poetic doodle) and it was only after reading it aloud to my girlfriend that I, too, realised it was basically a limerick—which is why I posted it in "for fun". I suppose it doesn't automatically register as a limerick because limericks are usually overtly humorous poems strictly in 5 lines. Maybe the relatively serious subject matter and unconventional line breaks were my subconscious attempt to subvert the genre. As Freud—channelling Descartes—might have said, my subconscious is often far more rebellious than I am. Thanks again.