06-22-2020, 11:55 PM
Hi knot,
Thankyou. I’ve fiddled with the last line a bit. Not sure I like it much though, or if I actually preferred my original ending. Tell me what you think?
When I was seventeen
I sunk to the bottom of my uncle’s pool,
blew wind from my lungs and
billowed in the half light
like a sheet on the washing line.
I remembered
blood red poppies and
a painting at The National.
You wrapped me in your cling film
dreams -
I kept your hands in my back pockets.
Days later I was as dried out
as my grandmothers old towels -
Only water could soothe the edges of
Something soft loved too hard.
Thankyou. I’ve fiddled with the last line a bit. Not sure I like it much though, or if I actually preferred my original ending. Tell me what you think?
When I was seventeen
I sunk to the bottom of my uncle’s pool,
blew wind from my lungs and
billowed in the half light
like a sheet on the washing line.
I remembered
blood red poppies and
a painting at The National.
You wrapped me in your cling film
dreams -
I kept your hands in my back pockets.
Days later I was as dried out
as my grandmothers old towels -
Only water could soothe the edges of
Something soft loved too hard.