04-16-2020, 06:01 PM
Knot Wrote:.
Hi Alicia-Sophia.
I also have an issue with the tenses, but I'd opt for making this all in the present tense,
and, following the title, have it adhere as closely to the form of a letter as possible -
maybe make the writer of the letter one of the "They" of lines two and three?
I enjoyed the irony (but don't think you need to emphasise it, for example "integral" in L3).
Best, Knot
Hello Knot.
Thank you for the feedback I truly appreciate it.
I want to make this poem as close to perfect or make it a legitimate poem, I guess.
I am dedicating this to the nurses who died as they stood on the front line fighting this Covid-19 Pandemic.
I am not sure if it seems obvious in the poem but I am too is a nurse and I am too is on the front line. I wrote this poem while isolating myself from my family (3 kids) because all I see now at my work are Covid patients everyday. I'm afraid I might bring this virus home to my family.
I would like to kindly ask for more feedback on this one.. please please and thank you so very much!
RIP Unknown Colleague
An invisible invader has taken the world
They called upon your name to fight in a battle
They say you're essential and vital in the field.
Known for your selflessness, compassion, and extraordinary courage
Not a slight of hesitation, you rose to the challenge.
Without further ado, in the front line you stood.
Unlike any soldier in the war, you are but without a gun.
Left alone in these solitary tours
Afraid and terrified,
you continued to fight.
Each caseload is a danger,
your spirit indestructible but your bone, powerless
You tried to regain your own breath, but your heart crumbles.
Today, the world mourns.
Deeply saddened and apologetic.
You were known for your positive attitude and big smile,
a shining light amongst the chaos.
.