Notes on (First) Love

[unpolished]

Notes on (First) Love

I loved him.
Maybe a minute,
Perhaps an hour,
Perchance a year.
But I loved him.

I met him from afar,
I remember him sitting in front of me,
And chancing upon him around the school;

And how he would see me,
As if no one else could,
Or would. As if he was meant to.

He devoured me with his eyes, as if I was special.
And then, so quickly, he loved me.
As if it was so easy, as if he would forever.

He said it first, while laying his head on my lap,
While I held my hand to his heart as it beat furiously in his chest.

"I love you."

And I felt his heart,
Bum bum bum. Bum.
And I felt it, the truth of it.

"I love you,"

I whispered into his mouth.
Leaning to kiss him, to feel him. To know and be known.
And when I said it, I meant it.

I broke the kiss, saying those words again,
As if it wasn't hard, as if I would never stop,
Could never stop saying them.
I remember repeating myself,

"I love you. I love you, I love you, Iloveyou."

As though if I stopped, my words would become lies.
As if my words could show the enormity of it.
As if I could tell him how much those words meant, just by repeating them.

But then, (like all things do) it ended.

Yet I love him,
Loved him,
Will love him.

Maybe a minute, maybe a year, maybe forever.



Getting back into poetry after many years away. Any and all feedback welcome (especially the second stanza).