02-17-2020, 01:31 PM
Although very poetic "to lotus-eater’s calm" seems redundant.
"after-death" could probably be cut and just go with " Lethe’s...
forgetting"
"knaves" could probably be dropped to the next line and the comma before it excised.
"Jordan's river" implies the country Jordan has a unspecified river. However, the most famous river in Jordan is the "Jordan river", no possessive. For me at least it muddies the water
Although titled"Jordan’s River", the river does not seem to be the "he" of the poem. Obviously you are making some kind of illusion, but it completely bypasses me. In the end I really have no idea what this is about. Am I just dense? I would appreciate enlightenment.
best,
dale
"after-death" could probably be cut and just go with " Lethe’s...
forgetting"
"knaves" could probably be dropped to the next line and the comma before it excised.
"Jordan's river" implies the country Jordan has a unspecified river. However, the most famous river in Jordan is the "Jordan river", no possessive. For me at least it muddies the water
Although titled"Jordan’s River", the river does not seem to be the "he" of the poem. Obviously you are making some kind of illusion, but it completely bypasses me. In the end I really have no idea what this is about. Am I just dense? I would appreciate enlightenment.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.