Seen at a Gate (was House Poor) - edit4

[Knot]

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Hi duke,

I'm not sure 'ancient' fixes anything (it's just a repeat of 'old man') and I'm becoming less and less convinced by 'thence'

- there are two possible meaning for that, as far as I can tell

From a place or source previously mentioned or As a consequence.

and neither seems to fit.

Might it be worth rearranging the deckchairs?

I passed by a fence where an old man chipped

the iron, slowly scaling off its rust

and wondered were he perhaps a conscript

of circumstance, ill-starred, so poor he must

Still not convinced by 'last residence', 'proud' perhaps?

And maybe 'His place' for 'That place' (one more alliterative 'h' for the final couplet? )

'Grand' is an improvement, I think. (Shame 'swell' has dropped out of fashion )

Best, Knot

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