12-01-2019, 02:55 PM
(12-01-2019, 02:41 AM)bbcashdollar Wrote: b-kwikHello, I actually enjoyed this a lot. A couple things:
running through b-kwik
sweaty hair
football gear
spikes click across
Imperial tile
tore-up turf
trailing behind
grabbing milk
grabbing bread
priced for convenience
priced
for the working class
sometimes
at checkout
a “secret” treat
dad waits in the car
window down
WKBW on the radio
in the strip plaza
sited to block competition
since the Super Duper
exploded under suspicious
circumstances
bricks blown for blocks
on Mother’s Day
as the family business
succumbed to market forces
we head for home
with what we need
oblivious to the desperation
that drove a son to arson
when he finally had to admit
there was no longer space
for a six aisle grocery
It feels like there are a lot of elements at play here. Football, a grocery store, a family business, and an explosion? It’s quite a bit for a relatively short poem. Maybe it’s just me, but the connection between the explosion and the family business (if there is one) is a bit confusing to me? Overall this reads really well. Also, just curious, what was the purpose of “priced for the working class”?
