The Calling

[Xlateralus]

with god-created intent
the air lifted and grew thin,
roads lost parallel lines,
and the working class mustered:
buskers and bakers,
men and women
all stood motionless
amidst the wake

one man smirked, as if to give off
the whole charade.

edited 08/12/2019

Hi.

My concern is that we seem to be falling out of control while at the same time gaining clarity (roads lost parallel lines and the air lifted/grew thin eg fog lifting. The clarity is maybe your intent but I’m not sure about falling out of control. I’m also not sure about the working class mustering. Because for me, mustering invokes duty, and I’m not sure that’s what you are going for.

But the main reason I posted, then end of the poem could be stronger by dropping the as if and sticking to your guns. The man gave off the whole charade. Own it.