08-30-2019, 05:31 AM
You have a shift in consciousness at the last stanza, stanzas 2 and 3 feel like filler, otherwise I like the idea.
Crit away
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First Day
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RE: First Day - by Weeded - 08-30-2019, 05:31 AM
RE: First Day - by Bunx - 08-31-2019, 02:25 AM
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