A Dead Man’s Poem

[Oden Prufrock]

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As a parody of what a poem is supposed to be, it is too long. So it’s just a bad poem, like a middle schooler’s concept of what a meaningful poem ought to be. 

“Young ones ask “where’s Wally”
is no more meaningful in context than
“young ones sit astride the polka horse”

There isn’t a single image that stands out. Actually, there are no images.

There’s nothing here to critique, but in borrowing from an earlier crit about a similar sort of poem a few years ago, the author might want to develop a single image and work on that.

No.

“Not a single image”
- “Deceased, stone vitality”
- “Erupting tendrils squirm”
- “Widows weep, sons still”
- “Xylophone bones”

Critique is not meant to be one-sided and there are clearly positive aspects in the poem. The sort of people who can’t understand literary technique and draw abstract concepts from language don’t belong here, they belong in middle school.

I’m sorry your feelings are hurt by honest feedback, but the objective truth is that this poem does not demonstrate any level of skill. Anyone can write material like this.
“Xylophone bones” is an example of a rubbish metaphor. “Piano teeth”, “tanpura nose”. See? How profound. The standard is actually higher in middle school.

Doesn’t hurt my feelings, your feedback is whatever you want it to be.