07-30-2019, 11:23 AM
(07-30-2019, 09:39 AM)EMK Wrote: Airi like the opening line, it keeps me reading to see what happens next. for me you need to flesh it out, at present apart from the 1st 3 lines it's more a list. the title is air and the the first two lines have a variation of air in them. let the title work.
The air around her changed
From airy
Now estranged
Blooming forcefully
Bright colors
Faded
Forgot the water
Forgot the sun
Forgot
Her air