06-27-2019, 09:42 PM
Going to hold off responding a bit, to look over your suggestions when I have time, but just wanted to say I also find S2 problematical I've considered just cutting it completely.
I was also trying to develop cadences along the lines of a musical phrase, rather than metrics, and use the lines as an end-stopped means of determining where phrases/clauses end, rather than my normal use of enjambment/punctuation. This is kind of new territory for me lol. This suffers from a lack of review on my part. I wrote it and posted it immediately (not something I normally do). So there's a lot needing edit/revision.
I was also trying to develop cadences along the lines of a musical phrase, rather than metrics, and use the lines as an end-stopped means of determining where phrases/clauses end, rather than my normal use of enjambment/punctuation. This is kind of new territory for me lol. This suffers from a lack of review on my part. I wrote it and posted it immediately (not something I normally do). So there's a lot needing edit/revision.
There is no escape from metre; there is only mastery. TS Eliot