06-19-2019, 11:09 PM
I like the piece, though its intent - it’s message - isn’t coming through to me, and I’m one willing to work at understanding a poem. The opening lines offer a hint of apocalyptic setup. The working class gather for a wake (mankind’s?), then there’s a volte - a bit of a turn at the end - implying the event’s a bit of a joke. A joke on whom - the religious working class, as opposed to the intellectual elite?
Structurally the poem flows nicely, is concise and compact. The first line threw me at first, until I picked up on Duke’s comment, with which I concur. L1, however, appears to contradict my reading. If anything is actually created by God, as L1 states, then I suppose the joke is on the man who smirked.
I have no problem with ‘wake’ , as not all cultures engage in indulgences at a wake. That aspect didn’t come to mind.
But you have something here. I look forward to seeing what you do.
Structurally the poem flows nicely, is concise and compact. The first line threw me at first, until I picked up on Duke’s comment, with which I concur. L1, however, appears to contradict my reading. If anything is actually created by God, as L1 states, then I suppose the joke is on the man who smirked.
I have no problem with ‘wake’ , as not all cultures engage in indulgences at a wake. That aspect didn’t come to mind.
But you have something here. I look forward to seeing what you do.
There is no escape from metre; there is only mastery. TS Eliot