05-16-2019, 07:30 AM
The Audience and The Reader are who say you're writing or not. The negative portion seems to grow larger as the positive portion grow larger. But the negative portion always had the headstart. I believe they were a strong mass before I was born, and the positive has only started over the last eight or nine years. And every few days I enrage one of the positive. So there's only a handful, if that. Every day I have to rewrite myself into existence. And I'm not even talking about the Greatest Group, the Indifferent and those that don't know I exist. And of course the negative portion of The Audience isn't an audience at all. ........ I'm thinking of these things because every few weeks a different person tells me that there's no audience for what I write. And these people seem to be able to influence other people that they're not my audience either, and all of this before I've even shown them what I've written. They just know somehow.
There is this dark spirit that eats up everything negative and digests it into my nervous system, and it takes everything positive and hides it in a void where I can't locate it when I need one of those burts of seretonin or whatever it is that makes you feel confident or capable. It's a hindrance, though a great motivation, because I can never be satisfied. I don't know if anyone else around here experiences everything as spiritual warfare. I wonder if these are outdated experiences or something held at bay for most by mood stabilizers or some other technology currently on the market.
There is this dark spirit that eats up everything negative and digests it into my nervous system, and it takes everything positive and hides it in a void where I can't locate it when I need one of those burts of seretonin or whatever it is that makes you feel confident or capable. It's a hindrance, though a great motivation, because I can never be satisfied. I don't know if anyone else around here experiences everything as spiritual warfare. I wonder if these are outdated experiences or something held at bay for most by mood stabilizers or some other technology currently on the market.