Townhouse Conductor - edit3

[billy]

the ing removals and changes to the 2nd stanza makes for an improved poem.

Townhouse Conductor


As if conducting silent symphony,
the master-vulture shifts, presiding from
a coppered gable's gleam, while deep below
well-off dog-walkers, never glancing up
or down, ignore their eunuchs' fewmets. a word i hadn't heard of. i googled it as one should . the stanza feels tighter and has a bit more heft without the three ing words you removed.

One block east another seasoned buzzard
stands to reprise her second-buzzard part,
dusky evening dress contrasting with
emerald illegal-tended lawns.

Still master-vulture perches, anthracite;
directs, anticipating townhouse coda
on a page much closer than
dog-walkers thoughtlessly believe.

edit2;

As if conducting silent symphony,
the master-vulture shifts, presiding from
a gleaming copper-glinting gable while below
well-off dog-walkers, never glancing up
(or down), ignore their eunuchs' leavings.

One block east a second buzzard
stands prepared to play her part,
dusky evening dress contrasting with
emerald illegal-tended lawns.

Still master-vulture perches, anthracite;
directs, anticipating townhouse coda
on a page much closer than
dog-walkers thoughtlessly believe.

edit1;

As if conducting this slow symphony,
the master-vulture shifts, presiding from
a gleaming coppered gable while below
well-off dog-walkers, never glancing up,
ignore their eunuchs' leavings.

Down the block a second buzzard
stands prepared to play her part,
evening dress contrasting with
bold emerald illegal-tended lawns.

Still master-vulture perches, anthracite;
directs, anticipating townhouse coda
on a page much closer than
dog-walkers thoughtlessly believe.

original version;

Black buzzard perches, statuary
on a copper-gleaming gable;
watches while, below, well-off dog-walkers
don't pick up their eunuchs' leavings.
Down a townhouse block, another buzzard
stands sidewalk sentry, rusty-feathered
by comparison with emerald,
illegal-tended lawns.

The master-vulture waits, shifts slightly
as if conducting this slow symphony:
anticipates its coda,
on a page much closer
than dog-walkers thoughtlessly believe.

Vacationing in the belly of the beast (a university town).  And I see things...