05-10-2019, 01:33 AM
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Hi duke,
I like the tone (especially the dogs/dog-walkers) but for a piece that references a conductor and a symphony, there's no sound
(lots of colour though). And the 'orchestra' metaphor seems undeveloped (what is the second vulture's part, is she a soloist of
some sort?). What were the dog-walkers wearing?
presiding from a gleaming coppered gable,
shifts. Below the vulture,
well-off dog-walkers, never glancing up,
nor down, ignore the bold emerald
illegal-tended lawns, their eunuchs' leavings.
Best, Knot
.
Hi duke,
I like the tone (especially the dogs/dog-walkers) but for a piece that references a conductor and a symphony, there's no sound
(lots of colour though). And the 'orchestra' metaphor seems undeveloped (what is the second vulture's part, is she a soloist of
some sort?). What were the dog-walkers wearing?
presiding from a gleaming coppered gable,
shifts. Below the vulture,
well-off dog-walkers, never glancing up,
nor down, ignore the bold emerald
illegal-tended lawns, their eunuchs' leavings.
Best, Knot
.