03-04-2019, 10:39 AM
Hi Cloud,
I love the metaphor. It feels to me like an endless lamentation that even the skies could not help but feel you. The opening was strong and precise. But the meaning withers. It begs for more.
To me, nothing ties it all together; makes me feel like the sorrow is meaningless and in vain. There was no cause or purpose to the bleeding.
That’s how it feels to me.
But it was good work to be able to describe the feeling with this intensity in limited words.
I love the metaphor. It feels to me like an endless lamentation that even the skies could not help but feel you. The opening was strong and precise. But the meaning withers. It begs for more.
To me, nothing ties it all together; makes me feel like the sorrow is meaningless and in vain. There was no cause or purpose to the bleeding.
That’s how it feels to me.
But it was good work to be able to describe the feeling with this intensity in limited words.