even the sky

[rowens]

The poem stands on its own. I can't see any faults in it. But it's a light poem. Some people might say you should add to it. But rather than changing it, you could consider other poems you've written or write others to strengthen it. It's hard to critique this kind of poem. Or I'll put it this way, the poem makes me want more, but I don't think it's a good idea to change it.