01-13-2019, 07:42 AM
The first three stanzas are good. And by good, I mean right. They just seem right. I can't look at the poem while I'm writing, so I have to post in installments. So just hold on.
And I'm not looking at it as a whole with all its connotations, I'm not in that mood lately. But I'm still reading it. So. Again. Hold on.
The fourth stanza sets the tone for the rest of it.
And then the sixth stanza, it starts getting good again. The words, the line break on creep.
Well, that's it. The rest of it doesn't stand out to me as anything. Like I said, I'm not reading deeply, I'm not in the mood for that. I do like the first three stanzas. They are things to build a poem on. The rest of it could be anything. Just keep those first three stanzas, they could go in any direction.
And I'm not looking at it as a whole with all its connotations, I'm not in that mood lately. But I'm still reading it. So. Again. Hold on.
The fourth stanza sets the tone for the rest of it.
And then the sixth stanza, it starts getting good again. The words, the line break on creep.
Well, that's it. The rest of it doesn't stand out to me as anything. Like I said, I'm not reading deeply, I'm not in the mood for that. I do like the first three stanzas. They are things to build a poem on. The rest of it could be anything. Just keep those first three stanzas, they could go in any direction.