Edit 1: Bedtime Clichés

[ellajam]

This is lovely. For me, all the white space slowed the read down effectively. Some notes:

Bedtime Clichés

Her liver-spotted hands
run warm water through dry hair,

massaging soap into our scalps
until lather dribbles over wincing eyes.

The fragrance of green apple promises The scent draws me into the scene.
a new age of creation. Before we whine,

she takes both thumbs to wipe away
the bubbles while she hums a lullaby. Great image, I can feel the movement and now you've got the audio going too.

Today's clothes are strewn across
ceramic tiles; its fabric is a phrase I believe "today's clothes" is plural, "their fabric" sounds right to me. I like "a phrase full of sand..." again it pulls in the senses.

full of sand, smelling of the sea, and
ketchup-stained. Incarnations picked by her

are folded on the sink. And the guise
of childhood convinces us that

we are the idea. Lovely end, it's the rare person, if one exists, that ever truly shakes that.

Thanks for the read, I enjoyed it.