Edit - Orange Man Blues

[billy]

Got no preacher man, Lord,
no preacher to make me smile.
Got no preacher man
to light my candle, make me smile.
Ain’t heard no preacher man
in a long, long while.

the above is a good addition. and yes it definitely has a feel of the blues about it, though it still feels like a sad poem. all it need is a harmonica [seriously]

i didn't leave more than the one line as it's in miscellaneous and not everyone like full crit in here.

here's a small one though;

the first like obviously shows it's not about a pumpkin and i like that you open up with a simile. the repetition through out the poem reinforces the accent and does it well. while the orange suit does work i'd have like one more reference as to the guys situation.

Orange Man Blues


I feel like a pumpkin,
like a pumpkin by the side of the road. repetition of a word sometimes fails to work here [like] is meant and works well in setting the southern accent
Yes, I feel like a pumpkin
after Thanksgiving, Lord,
lying by the side of a road.
No one to eat me, Lord,
no one to bake me in a pie.
Got no little girl, Lord,
got no girl with a little knife
to carve out my nose and eyes.
Got no preacher man, Lord,
no preacher to make me smile.
Got no preacher man
to light my candle, make me smile.
Ain’t heard no preacher man
in a long, long while.
I feel just like a pumpkin, Lord,
a big, orange pumpkin
just lying here, Lord,
lying by the side of this road.

original version;

I feel like a pumpkin,
like a pumpkin by the side of the road.
Yes, I feel like a pumpkin
after Thanksgiving, Lord,
lying by the side of a road.
No one to eat me, Lord,
no one to bake me in a pie.
Got no little girl, Lord,
got no girl with a little knife
to carve out my nose and eyes.
I feel just like a pumpkin, Lord,
a big, orange pumpkin
just lying here, Lord,
lying by the side of this road.

Different art form, work in progress.

No political or parody intent.  Just saw a pumpkin by the side of the road, and it spoke to me, in a manner of speaking.