11-12-2018, 04:08 AM
Hi cloud,
It's shorter now. I know, I'm very observant, hehe.
In your most recent reply, you write, 'revisions have distorted the title's implication'. And then you write about erosion, in a sort of mini-poem I really enjoyed reading. It's almost like a haiku. I don't know whether you're going to come back to the main poem, but if you do my suggestion would be to introduce a character, someone who experiences the erosion. Anyway, just a thought :-)
Best wishes,
Ally
It's shorter now. I know, I'm very observant, hehe.
In your most recent reply, you write, 'revisions have distorted the title's implication'. And then you write about erosion, in a sort of mini-poem I really enjoyed reading. It's almost like a haiku. I don't know whether you're going to come back to the main poem, but if you do my suggestion would be to introduce a character, someone who experiences the erosion. Anyway, just a thought :-)
Best wishes,
Ally
Please note, I'm away at the moment because my partner is unwell and he requires a little extra TLC.