10-18-2018, 02:55 AM
Sorry about the wait -- lately, I've been losing track of time.
I got two threads from your critiques: contradiction and a lack of elaboration. Rather, on the one hand, some images (particularly "the shirt that mocks at innocence") don't quite pop in their complexity as the rest of the piece; on the other hand, the piece as a whole doesn't seem to have some sort of main point, it seems to contradict itself (in particular, the whole Abraham-Shylock connection). And while I agree with the first, and have been struggling with how to work those lines since your replies, I'm not quite sure about the second -- I feel like the contradiction is the point.
It might be that the problem with the contradiction is the same as the lack of elaboration: that is, it won't work until all the little bits are perfected. Or it might be that that contradiction isn't as enchanting as I think it is. I'll grant that my process for this piece was a little loose, I was groping for that ending without any particular message in mind, but for me the message that I ended up with is clear, if a little obtuse.
Or, perhaps, obscure, which might be your point. But I consider this piece somewhat independent from what I think it's actually trying to say, such that dropping hints from within the piece is sort of disrespectful. And, either way, the three of you seem enchanted by this piece -- I certainly am, and I'm hoping the four of us who're here are representative enough of the general readership -- and, with my process for this piece having been so loose, I feel like such enchantment is enough. Is it? And were we really?
At any rate, thanks for the critique! And like I said, I am at least working on that first point, with what the problem lines are supposed to show spoiler'd below: alternatives are requested.
I got two threads from your critiques: contradiction and a lack of elaboration. Rather, on the one hand, some images (particularly "the shirt that mocks at innocence") don't quite pop in their complexity as the rest of the piece; on the other hand, the piece as a whole doesn't seem to have some sort of main point, it seems to contradict itself (in particular, the whole Abraham-Shylock connection). And while I agree with the first, and have been struggling with how to work those lines since your replies, I'm not quite sure about the second -- I feel like the contradiction is the point.
It might be that the problem with the contradiction is the same as the lack of elaboration: that is, it won't work until all the little bits are perfected. Or it might be that that contradiction isn't as enchanting as I think it is. I'll grant that my process for this piece was a little loose, I was groping for that ending without any particular message in mind, but for me the message that I ended up with is clear, if a little obtuse.
Or, perhaps, obscure, which might be your point. But I consider this piece somewhat independent from what I think it's actually trying to say, such that dropping hints from within the piece is sort of disrespectful. And, either way, the three of you seem enchanted by this piece -- I certainly am, and I'm hoping the four of us who're here are representative enough of the general readership -- and, with my process for this piece having been so loose, I feel like such enchantment is enough. Is it? And were we really?
At any rate, thanks for the critique! And like I said, I am at least working on that first point, with what the problem lines are supposed to show spoiler'd below: alternatives are requested.