Cut open to count the rings

[Keith]

Hi Keith.
Enjoyed the read and some really striking images.
(Do you mean 'discarded' in L5?)
Main suggestion would be to cut the final line of
each verse, they all seem to step on the heels of
the preceding line.
Also, not that keen on 'pushes speech'.
On the whole I find S3 rather disappointing in
comparison to S1 and S2 which seem so much
stronger.

A child-minded crow

[calling] out[,] through morning mist
that clings cold on banks of quiet bracken[,]
[following] footsteps for scraps[.]
[D]iscarded crusts hang out of crumpled foil
like bodies through a windscreen.
-great image

Gnarled oaks help saplings take shape[,]
- 'help' is a bit weak.
bent by the wind's advice.
Arthritic branches knuckle
with fingers of new growth,
mud-caked Wellingtons rinse red
- another strong image

Best, Knot.

Hi Knot thank you for the considered feedback I will take your comments into the next edit, I'm letting it rest for the moment as I made some big changes, I like your suggestion to cut last lines although I'm not sure it will work in every stanza, but I will take a look. Thanks Keith

PS I did mean discarded, thanks