This, Too - Edit3

[Richard]

Hey Duke,
I think this a stronger piece with the edits. I do have some thoughts though:

This, Too


Last night I nodded off
with television looking on–
flat-screen wonders, songs, and wars
played without me just the same.
I rose, back bent and sore, -Just a suggestion, but why not say "I rose, back red and sore," to play on the the word rose. Hope that makes sense.
at first begrudging time not spent in bed...
then smiled, acknowledging
this, too, was sleep.-I think the first stanza is a lot tighter than the previous versions of the poem.

I’ll rise from sleep another night
while this world,
its wars and rumors, songs and getting
churn along just fine
in my final absence. -I know what "final absence" means. I just wonder if there is a way to say it that would tie back to sleep imagery? Maybe something like "in my unwaking dreams"? Just a thought.
Then I’ll glance down
(he looks so natural) -This line made me think the speaker was looking at their child, but then I realized they're looking at him/herself. I wonder if this would be clearer if the you changed "he" to "I"? 
and smile, discovering
this, too, is rest.

edit1;

Last night I fell asleep
with the television on–
flat-screen wonders, songs, and wars
played without me just the same.
I rose, back a little stiff, 
at first begrudging time not spent abed...
then smiled, acknowledging
this, too, was sleep.

I’ll rise from sleep another night–
while this world, its wars and rumors,
songs and getting churn along just fine
in my final absence.
Then I’ll glance down
(a little stiff, there)
and smile, discovering
this, too, is rest.


original version;

Last night I fell asleep
with the television on–
flat-screen wonders, songs, and wars
played without me just the same.
I got up a little stiff,
at first begrudging time not spent abed...
but then realized this, too, was sleep.

Some day I’ll fall asleep again
while the world, its wars and rumors,
songs and getting churn along just fine
in my final absence.
Then I’ll look down
(a little stiff, there)
to find this, too, is rest.

You've definitely gone in the right direction here with your edits, and I look forward to seeing where you take this next.

Thanks for the read,
Richard