Straitjacket

[billy]

i get the impression of 50 shades of something. for me the poem lacks real depth as it's all tell. lots of cliche which if swapped out for original phrases would help lift the piece. a more subtle set of rhymes would also help improve the poem.

cliches: still of night, i had no other choice, hear the beat of my heart, i'll finally find peace.

a few more lines are suspect or old. but in general cliche weakens the poem. i think the opening two lines ware the best of the poem, they make the reader think, after that it weakens by the line.

Tie it up on me.
Tie it up tight.
Let me be trapped in the
still of the night.

Keep me imprisoned,
Keep me subdued,
Anything else
Would just ruin the mood.

Silence my crying,
Silence my voice.
Lead me to feel 
I had no other choice.

Break me with violence,
Break me with fear.
Leave me to wonder
how I ever got here.

Laugh as you hurt me,
Laugh at the shadows.
Hear the beat of my heart
as it quakes and it rattles.

Cover me in anguish,
Cover me in scorn,
Rip at my clothes 'til
they're tattered and torn.

Mock my entrapment.
Mock my cold face.
Treat me like garbage,
that's cheap to replace.

Leave me in darkness,
Leave my pain to release.
And perhaps in the madness
I'll finally find peace.