08-20-2018, 12:46 AM
Hello,
I read your poem and it was moving .
However, When you are in pain, gut wrenching pain you can use more drastic words and actions to describe it. Here you tried to control the word play but pain in uncontrolable , like for example when you said Melancholy, ususally that word is used when someone is sad but it is not the sad that breaks your soul and shatters it .
All in all it was great and I enjoyed it . Keep up the good work and Plz share more of your soul with us
I read your poem and it was moving .
However, When you are in pain, gut wrenching pain you can use more drastic words and actions to describe it. Here you tried to control the word play but pain in uncontrolable , like for example when you said Melancholy, ususally that word is used when someone is sad but it is not the sad that breaks your soul and shatters it .
All in all it was great and I enjoyed it . Keep up the good work and Plz share more of your soul with us