08-10-2018, 10:16 AM
rowens- Variation within the meter.
Include an example of his critiques or my poem? If the poem, I was afraid of turning this thread into a critiquing one which is why I originally didn't do so. The actual sonnet can be found in the mild-moderate forum. I'll be happy to include the first couple lines though:
Cicadas sung the honest words that two
familiar strangers smothered with esprit
and games, to us in soothing secrecy.
It wasn't through a golden shaft but through
As for the critic's comments, he didn't really mention anything about enjambments and end stops in his feedback. The meter being "perfect" was the main issue for him.
duke- Completely agree with your final sentiments there. As I was writing and figuring out what words could fit snugly into the meter, the main ideas/themes seemed to morph in the process. I've said it once here and I'll say it again, this is was what made writing in form fun yet challenging to me.
Thank you everyone for your takes.
Alex
Include an example of his critiques or my poem? If the poem, I was afraid of turning this thread into a critiquing one which is why I originally didn't do so. The actual sonnet can be found in the mild-moderate forum. I'll be happy to include the first couple lines though:
Cicadas sung the honest words that two
familiar strangers smothered with esprit
and games, to us in soothing secrecy.
It wasn't through a golden shaft but through
As for the critic's comments, he didn't really mention anything about enjambments and end stops in his feedback. The meter being "perfect" was the main issue for him.
duke- Completely agree with your final sentiments there. As I was writing and figuring out what words could fit snugly into the meter, the main ideas/themes seemed to morph in the process. I've said it once here and I'll say it again, this is was what made writing in form fun yet challenging to me.
Thank you everyone for your takes.
Alex