06-24-2018, 11:48 PM
The comb is not
a critical tool in your kit,
Do you insist on "in your kit"?
evidently.
I cannot characterize you
as trying not to try.
Does "not" need to be emphasized? No. But, looking at it, is it fine as it is? To you?
An obvious one would be
I cannot characterize you
as trying
not to try.
But it's your poem, not obvious's.
Deficient of intent,
you are
sincerity in thick brown
This bit works well enough.
tress and wrinkled knit,
Maybe a , instead of an and. As though, you know, complete, more togethered.
as though, complete
with scribbled thought,
you pulled a napkin
out of pocket
and stretched it overhead [ ? ]
to wear.