Wedding night [title in progress]

[Richard]

Hey wapiti,
I like some of you images here. However, I think you need play with some of your wording to make this piece more effective. I'll go into more detail below:

The blindfold of loneliness -I like this line as an image. However, the following line distracts from it.
Swept away on a June night -My suggestion would be the change this line to: "Undone by a June night" That would be more consistent with the image of the blindfold.
Our young and trusting eyes met -Rather than telling us that the eyes were young and trusting, why not imply it through a metaphor or a simile? For example: "Our eye met like..." Fill in whatever you think convey that the eyes would young and trusting.
Love an unspoken whisper -I like the image of the "unspoken whisper," but I don't think it needs to be compared to love. I would save this image for the next stanza.
 
Three springs turned yellow autumns 
Memories made as leaves fell, -I like the first two lines here. Imagery and simile are used in a wonderful way to convey the passage of time.
Our lives and dreams became one
Whisper transformed to a shout -I would suggest changing this two lines to something like: "Our unspoken whisper transformed to a shout". I just feel like talking about lives and dreams is too on the nose for a love poem.
 
Passion, summer’s fruit we feast -I feel like "fruit" is too vague. Pick one and have some fun with the imagery in the process.
Lives entwine like vines this night
Our families become one
The shout now a sacred vow -I like this image of the shout becoming a sacred vow. It's a powerful image because of the idea of it being quieter, but also stronger.

I hope I wasn't too critical here. I actually think you got a wonderful start here, and I look forward to seeing what you do with this.

Cheers,
Richard