July

[Richard]

Hey nozaki,
Welcome to the site  

I like a lot of the imagery here. I think you need to play around with the punctuation and some of the wording though:

Blood breaks in the bath, the wave reduced -Do baths have waves in them? I feel like may be rewording to "ripple" might be more effective. 
to a shy finger in the lukewarm water. However gorgeous,
pink is too peaky too fine a color for her brand of violence, -Need a comma after "peaky".
she needs it to be obscene. She needs it to be clever. -I don't know if I'm sold on the repetition of "she needs it to be". It sounds nice, but doesn't need the emphasis that is supposed to come from repetition. May be reword to: "she needs it to be obscene, clever." To me, that gives better emphasis to the word "clever".
The rains bear gifts of starlight upon their long arms, 
but there is no youth to the pure breaths of a star.
There is only melancholy, thin-bodied, classical, and sharp, and time. -Again, the repetition here is unnecessary. Maybe rewrite as: "There is only melancholy: thin-bodied, classical, sharp, timely" This might affect your intended meaning, but you don't need the repetition here. 
The sky opens, laughing gayly, and she could shut it up
right now, she could climb out the sky and just. Leave. -The "Leave" by itself as a sentence doesn't add the desired emphasis, but I actually found it distracting.
But first she needs to be clean. -I like the this line because it works on a literal level and metaphorically. Not to get too grammatical here, but the sentence fragment is justified here.
She washes her face over the sink, tap smelling like schnapps, 
peach, liquid courage because the abstract type is uninspired, -To me, "liquid courage" borders on cliche, so I would suggest rewording this line to something like: "the only courage she tastes because the abstract type is uninspired".
and the water burns, and her heart breaks. It is a shallow
break, bluntly presented, resting on the laurels -Again, "resting on the laurels" seems cliched to me, so I would suggest rewording it.
of a breathless fuck-my-life whisper-slash-scream. -I love this line except that I think you need to play around with the "whisper-slash-cream". Maybe say something like: "whispering scream" or "screaming whisper". I think that the use of oxymoron here would be effective.
Because her lungs collapse inwards, 
she goes outwards, stretching, wanting, always -Should the last line be "always" or "alone"? Just a thought.

Overall, I think you have a good first draft here, and I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Cheers,
Richard