Edit - After the Battle

[Knot]

Hi duke

it's still a little stuffy and antiquarian

not something I view negatively   And, if you want a 'Middle Ages feel' not something to shy away from I would have thought.

Six slim, straight yellow shafts
do you need yellow? Perhaps something
that referenced the material?
quivered in deep greensward,
'quivered', again, doesn't fit well
with 'after the battle'. Maybe consider
how deeply they are driven into the earth?
each a cloth-yard long and none
quite vertical—
as if massed bowmen had dispatched them
arcing down in piercing clouds.
These few having found no flesh
of horse or man, remained.
'massed' plus 'six' doesn't work that well,
even with 'these few' (Henry V?).
I wonder if it would be worth reordering this verse
(rough cut):
In the greensward, six,
slim, straight shafts
[buried]....
Each a cloth-yard long,
none quite vertical,
these few [here]
having not found
[their target], remain


I think you could take a similar approach
to the second verse also.
You might also consider how to make
a better/smoother transition from the idea
of arrows to 'each pair upheld a poster'


Best, Knot.