05-16-2018, 04:35 AM
edit2;
California Rain Delay
Rain rinses California.
Cliffside houses—
beauty unendurable, folly uninsurable—
lose their footings, stumble,
crash down broken-hipped
while in mist-valleys
muscular brown arms of mud,
great rocks and Volvos clenched in fists,
thrust between, around,
punch through McMansion tragedies.
But at least this deluge
and its silt-rush oceanward delays
dry times when firebugs emerge
to run berserk with Santa Anna wind,
spark tinder hills ablaze.
Thanks again, @Knot, for your persistence in improving this one. I've implemented some of your suggestions, though not exactly, and tried to improve areas you found wanting.
California Rain Delay
Rain rinses California.
Cliffside houses—
beauty unendurable, folly uninsurable—
lose their footings, stumble,
crash down broken-hipped
while in mist-valleys
muscular brown arms of mud,
great rocks and Volvos clenched in fists,
thrust between, around,
punch through McMansion tragedies.
But at least this deluge
and its silt-rush oceanward delays
dry times when firebugs emerge
to run berserk with Santa Anna wind,
spark tinder hills ablaze.
Thanks again, @Knot, for your persistence in improving this one. I've implemented some of your suggestions, though not exactly, and tried to improve areas you found wanting.
Non-practicing atheist