05-13-2018, 11:04 PM
California Rain Delay
Rain rinses California.
Cliffside houses—
beauty unendurable, folly uninsurable—
lose footing, surf down broken-hipped.
In mist valleys
muscular brown arms of mud,
great rocks and Volvos clenched in fists,
punch between, around,
and through McMansion tragedies.
But at least this deluge
with its silt-rush oceanward delays
dry times when firebugs return
to dance through Santa Anna winds
and spark gray hills ablaze.
@Knot - Thanks again for your critiques. Balanced by others elsewhere, who liked the beginning and middle, those parts are basically unchanged. However, there was general agreement that the end was confusing and abrupt. Hence the changes in this edit (not, perhaps, the final one).
Rain rinses California.
Cliffside houses—
beauty unendurable, folly uninsurable—
lose footing, surf down broken-hipped.
In mist valleys
muscular brown arms of mud,
great rocks and Volvos clenched in fists,
punch between, around,
and through McMansion tragedies.
But at least this deluge
with its silt-rush oceanward delays
dry times when firebugs return
to dance through Santa Anna winds
and spark gray hills ablaze.
@Knot - Thanks again for your critiques. Balanced by others elsewhere, who liked the beginning and middle, those parts are basically unchanged. However, there was general agreement that the end was confusing and abrupt. Hence the changes in this edit (not, perhaps, the final one).
Non-practicing atheist